So, as I posted a little while ago, I have felt like my spiritual life, my testimony, has been waning. I really haven't been nourishing it like I need to. After last General Conference I thought I would study one conference talk a week. They matched up fairly exactly because there was almost the same number of talks as weeks till next
General Conference. For my friends who are not LDS, General Conference happens twice a year, in April and October, and we get to listen to our prophet, the Twelve Apostles, and other church leaders talk to the whole church. Anyways, that didn't happen. Every once in a while I kept having the thought that I needed to study these conference talks. But, as you know, there are so many interesting books to read, Facebooking to do, household chores, bickering to break up, that those thoughts just fell by the wayside.
Then I had these past few weeks where I was asked to talk in church (see here) and I was asked a couple weeks later to teach a lesson in Relief Society (our women's meeting). And I realized just how low my testimony level had gotten. So, I've decided that I am going to take one conference talk per week and read and report on it. I won't get through all the talks, but I will get through quite a few. And you lucky readers get to come along on this journey with me.
Without further ado, on to today's talk. I am reporting on Sis. Elaine Dalton's talk We Are Daughters of our Heavenly Father.
General Conference. For my friends who are not LDS, General Conference happens twice a year, in April and October, and we get to listen to our prophet, the Twelve Apostles, and other church leaders talk to the whole church. Anyways, that didn't happen. Every once in a while I kept having the thought that I needed to study these conference talks. But, as you know, there are so many interesting books to read, Facebooking to do, household chores, bickering to break up, that those thoughts just fell by the wayside.
Then I had these past few weeks where I was asked to talk in church (see here) and I was asked a couple weeks later to teach a lesson in Relief Society (our women's meeting). And I realized just how low my testimony level had gotten. So, I've decided that I am going to take one conference talk per week and read and report on it. I won't get through all the talks, but I will get through quite a few. And you lucky readers get to come along on this journey with me.
Without further ado, on to today's talk. I am reporting on Sis. Elaine Dalton's talk We Are Daughters of our Heavenly Father.
She begins with the first line of the Young Women's theme, "We are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love Him." That just took me back to Young Women's so quickly. It's funny how one little phrase can trigger a whole slew of memories. I remember our Young Women's room and all the girls that were in there with me. I remember the insecurity, feeling like I was always by myself, and I remember the Young Women leaders who showed me unconditional acceptance and approval. Then Sis. Dalton says:
It is not only an affirmation of our identity - who we are - but also an acknowledgment of whose we are. We are daughters of an exalted being!
This is such an exciting idea. We are more than just our earthly bodies; we are descendants of a Heavenly King! And we can be like him because he is the Father of our spirits. And as daughters of a Heavenly Father, he is truly interested in us just as our earthly fathers are interested in us and want to be close to us. The next quote that struck me was this one -
Our daily contributions of nurturing, teaching, and caring for others may seem mundane, diminished, difficult, and demeaning at times, and yet as we remember that first line in the Young Women theme - "We are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us" - it will make all the difference in our relationships and our responses.
I immediately thought of motherhood. Changing a diaper is mundane and could be considered demeaning by some. But it is necessary. Continuing along this train of thought, I remember something my mother told me. It was earlier in our marriage, I think we had one child at the time. I was complaining a little about household chores. It felt like I was doing all the cleaning and caring for everyone and everything without much help and not enough appreciation. Or maybe not the right appreciation. My mom listened to my complaints and empathized with me and then she said something that changed my attitude. She said, "You can think of it as 'having' to do something or you can think of it as serving your family." It is something that I still struggle a bit to integrate in my life. Many times as I am cleaning the table after preparing and serving dinner I get resentful because I'm not getting the help that I would like, or help with the right attitude. But if I can turn my attitude to one of humble service, I can be much more cheerful about it. And, taking that farther, if I can think of serving my children as I would serve the children of an exalted being, I'm sure I can find many more wells of patience for my service.
It also reminded me of the Relief Society lesson I taught last week. In it President Snow encouraged LDS mothers to "exercise all your influence . . .in favor of pure motherhood." We discussed how the world sees motherhood in our class. We discussed how it seems the world either says, "Oh, you're just a mother? You must be a very uninteresting person." Or the world expects us to be perfectly coiffed and presented. We must have children all in matching outfits with a home decorated like the spread in Better Homes and Gardens. Well, guess what? We are real mothers. We try to do our best and we would love to have a Better Homes and Gardens house also (Why else are those magazines around?) but this child needs a diaper change and that child needs someone to talk to and another child is learning to make his bed independently. It's imperfect, but it's independent. And let's not get started on when they begin to make their own peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
So we can buy into the world's perception of motherhood - mundane, diminished, difficult, and demeaning - or we can be exalted daughters doing our best in an imperfect world. We can lean on the support of our Father in Heaven who loves us, or we can try to do it all on our own. President Hinckley reminds us -
It also reminded me of the Relief Society lesson I taught last week. In it President Snow encouraged LDS mothers to "exercise all your influence . . .in favor of pure motherhood." We discussed how the world sees motherhood in our class. We discussed how it seems the world either says, "Oh, you're just a mother? You must be a very uninteresting person." Or the world expects us to be perfectly coiffed and presented. We must have children all in matching outfits with a home decorated like the spread in Better Homes and Gardens. Well, guess what? We are real mothers. We try to do our best and we would love to have a Better Homes and Gardens house also (Why else are those magazines around?) but this child needs a diaper change and that child needs someone to talk to and another child is learning to make his bed independently. It's imperfect, but it's independent. And let's not get started on when they begin to make their own peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
So we can buy into the world's perception of motherhood - mundane, diminished, difficult, and demeaning - or we can be exalted daughters doing our best in an imperfect world. We can lean on the support of our Father in Heaven who loves us, or we can try to do it all on our own. President Hinckley reminds us -
We must never lose sight of the strength of the women. … It is mothers who most directly affect the lives of their children. … It is mothers who nurture them and bring them up in the ways of the Lord. Their influence is paramount. …
“… They are the creators of life. They are the nurturers of children. They are the teachers of young women. They are our indispensable companions. They are our co-workers in building the kingdom of God. How great is their role, how marvelous their contribution.
Then, Sis. Dalton asks a question.
So how do a mother and a father instill in their daughter the ennobling and eternal truth that she is a daughter of God? How do we help her step out of the world and step into the kingdom of God?
She tells us that we need to "stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places." As mothers, we need to show our daughters, and our sons, that we respect the body. We respect virtue. We love our husbands and honor our marriage. I especially need to be reminded not to show my frustrations with my husband to my children. I need to hold up his good examples. He goes to work every day without complaining. He comes home every night. He takes care of all our outside work and is an amazing mechanic on our cars. Sis. Dalton's paragraph here reminds me of the scripture reference in Titus 2:4-5.
That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
I don't know about the "obedient to their husbands" part. I think that means something different today than it did then, but the rest of it is important. We need to show our daughters how to create and hold onto a good family in a world that says family is not important. The world says, "Go fulfill yourselves. Make sure that you are happy." I say, "Find fulfillment in nurturing your family. Find your love and appreciation in your children and your husband."
I will end with this last quote from Sis. Dalton.
I will end with this last quote from Sis. Dalton.
In an extremely challenging world, that is what I see young women and women of this Church doing. They are an influence for good. They are virtuous and exemplary, intelligent and industrious. They are making a difference because they are different. They are acting well their part.
I hope that in my small corner of the world, I can be an influence for good. I hope I can teach my children to uphold virtue and find beauty in doing good. This is my challenge as a mother and as a daughter of God.