- Regard you marriage as priceless.
- Repentance and humility.
- Respect your spouse.
- Love your spouse with complete devotion.
The second principle has to do with faith. Elder Clayton says:
I have observed that couples who have made their marriages priceless practice the patterns of faith: they attend sacrament and other meetings every week, hold family home evening, pray and study the scriptures together and as individuals, and pay an honest tithing. Their mutual quest is to be obedient and good.
Numbers 3 and 4 were big points for me. Number 3 is the principle of repentance. I need repentance so often in my life and I need it in marriage too. I am grateful for the grace of my Savior and I am grateful for the grace that my husband gives to me. Elder Clayton says:
[Repentance] is an essential element in every good marital relationship. . . Repentance helps restore and maintain harmony and peace. . . Humility is the essence of repentance. Humility is selfless, not selfish. It doesn’t demand its own way or speak with moral superiority. Instead, humility answers softly and listens kindly for understanding, not vindication. Humility recognizes that no one can change someone else, but with faith, effort, and the help of God, we can undergo our own mighty change of heart. . . Humility means that both husbands and wives seek to bless, help, and lift each other, putting the other first in every decision.
The number four principle is respect. We want to be around people who respect us and respect our opinions. They may not agree, but we want respect. John Gottman is a noted psychologist who studies marriages. MentalHelp.net says:
In a famous study, Gottman was able to predict with over 80% accuracy the future divorces of multiple couples he and his team observed based on subtle body language cues suggesting contemptuous feelings (such as dismissive eye-rolling). Contempt doesn't have to be expressed openly for it to be hard at work rotting the foundations of one's relationship.
Terrific marriages are completely respectful, transparent, and loyal.
I was glad to read this talk and be able to evaluate where I felt my marriage was and how I could improve. I found things to improve in myself and things to improve in how I treat my husband and my marriage.